How to Stay Motivated in Marriage

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It is important to have a support system that can help you navigate the challenges of marriage. This may include a therapist, coach, or mentor who is not your spouse.

Sometimes, a lack of motivation can indicate an underlying problem. a simple example where you ask, "write my paper for me for free" instead of looking at references and making a couple of attempts at it. In these cases, you need to determine the root cause. 

1. Share Your Goals

One of the best ways to help your spouse stay motivated in marriage is to encourage them and remind them why they’re pursuing personal goals. This can include big life events like a marathon finish or new career goals, but it’s also important to remember those small, daily victories.

It’s important to draw a line between healthy encouragement and pushing your partner too hard, as this can lead to resentment. It’s also helpful to focus on the values your husband or wife really cares about, rather than focusing on the outcome of those goals.

One great way to start this process is by revisiting your wedding vows. This can be a reminder of the reasons you got married in the first place and can help motivate you to keep fighting for your marriage!

2. Make Time for Each Other

There's no shortage of logistical issues that pop up throughout marriage. These important nitty-gritty details can quickly suck the romance out of any date night, so it's vital to choose a time to discuss these topics when they won't put a stop to your romance. For example, podcasters Megan and Jon La Follett schedule a weekly marital staff meeting on Monday mornings before work to clear up any scheduling issues.

Creating a routine of spending quality time together can make it easier to stay motivated in marriage. This may mean waking up earlier so you can have breakfast together or limiting screen time during the evenings so you can chat about your day. It could also mean going for a walk, taking an exercise class, or even just sitting in the driveway after the kids are in bed to catch up with each other.

3. Find Common Ground

Staying motivated in marriage is difficult if you and your spouse are constantly arguing. Whether the argument is about the smallest of things or bigger ones like finances, it can be emotionally and physically draining.

However, you should not view these issues as insurmountable obstacles and work towards finding a solution to the problem. Try to focus on how much you love and appreciate your partner instead of placing blame for the issue on them.

You may also want to consider seeking help from a professional, such as a marriage counselor or religious leader. This can help you find common ground and regain your motivation to stay in your marriage.

4. Be Honest

Honesty is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship. It can be demoralizing when your partner doesn't feel like they can express their true feelings or start to doubt your love for them. It is also important to be able to tell the truth without putting it in an accusatory way.

If someone is trying to communicate how they feel and they are shut down or yelled at for it, they may stop trying to share their thoughts in the future. Instead of judging them, try to be supportive as they work through their emotions.

Be careful to draw a line between healthy encouragement and pushing too hard. Otherwise, you could push them deeper into their gloomy abyss. This will only make them feel defensive and unable to open up.

5. Give Your Partner Room to Be Imperfect

When you commit to someone, you also enter into a relationship with their flaws. You might think you know what their flaws are, but the truth is that no one knows for sure. This is why it’s important to remember the cliche, “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.”

Your partner may need a little time to themselves, so don’t pester them about their space. Instead, focus on praising their strengths and expressing gratitude often.

Reminding yourself and your spouse of their positive qualities can help you stay motivated in marriage even when things aren’t going as well. Keep in mind that mental health is linked to motivation, so try not to judge them if they struggle to get up and face the day.

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